– What’s your strength?
– What’s your talent?
– I’m good at waiting.
Remember all those days that flew between us? I spent all of them on stand-by… waiting for you to talk about your dreams, plans, future. I was waiting for you to ask about my dreams, places I wanna go, books I want to read, countries I wanna visit, desires I wanna fulfill. And when I got curious about your answers, you remained silent. Seems like your indecisions were a decision after all. One day, I got tired of waiting, got up and left behind me all that loud silence.
I remember all the pure emotions you made me feel. But also the planning, the dreaming, all the control I held in my hands. And I was tired of being responsible for two souls. I was waiting for you to lighten my burden. You never did, because you never knew how. Remember all our talks and how I encouraged you to aspire for more? You thought I didn’t need it, that I could do it on my own. One day, I got tired of waiting for you to take over all the control I was holding. And I drove to exit.
Do you recall that summer night I cried in front of you? You asked me with a harsh voice what was wrong. I couldn’t tell you… I just waited for you to take me into your arms and tell me that everything will be alright. And then, scared of my vulnerabilities, you disappeared. I guess my insecurities opened up your own scars. I waited patiently for you, while patching my torn soul. You never returned, while I was stubborn in my waiting. Until that night I dreamed about your funeral. My feelings for you left me…
Remember when you asked me to have patience, that one day, soon enough, we’ll meet? And I waited, even if I read trouble between the lines. I got fooled with the way you touched me without using your hands. I wondered whether you were linked to my subconscious. Oh, you were so good at undressing my soul, my hidden lust. I knew nothing about you, but I knew everything we were not. An uncovered secret…
Beyond our long nights filled with written words, beyond our days filled with music and desires, I was patiently holding onto you. I was like a moth drawn to a flame, while you discovered the right rhyme and rhythm that turned me on. I chose to believe your „beautiful lies”, while waiting for the night I’ll finally melt into you… Until one day, when it was running late for us. And I stood up to leave…
And while rewinding my soul, it got crystal clear that all this time I was putting me „on hold”.